I ask myself often …. What is the benefit of talking about our issues? Our struggles? I find the answer to be fairly simple on a basic level – it helps because I believe we heal in relationship. And sitting down with a therapist is about relationship – trust is established, rapport is created, a safe container is necessary to go digging around into areas we have not wanted to or been able to fully delve. There is a mystery and a grace that underlies a therapeutic relationship. It goes beyond the 2 or so people sitting down and includes a force that supports, guides, comforts and soothes everyone involved.
This relationship offers us a place to unpack – to take out our dirty laundry from childhood and look at it with fresh eyes. It offers a place to express emotion that has been buried for some time – that was never safe to express or we did not have the resources around us that could compassionately and empathetically walk with us through the minefield. As our emotions are released through our voice and we receive validation and acceptance, we often can create a new perspective of past circumstances and people. That is the only thing that can change about our past – not what happened, but the way we consider it and its impact on us.
We can also unpack current concerns and challenges we are faced with; often the current stuff is floating up from the unresolved past stuff – or at least there is an influence of our past conditioning that embellishes the current challenges. In this healing relationship, we can find relief in acknowledging what is troubling us in our daily lives. This safe space is where we can say what we really think about things or people – without having to be politically correct or conscientious of another’s feelings. We can allow the tantrums inside to be vocalized and to find room to move through it so we can come out on the other side. This healing relationship offers a place to express self unabashedly without judgment while recognizing the inherent opportunity to push oneself forward into a new way of looking at things that ultimately sustains peace and calm within.
I believe we are all searching for a sense of connectedness to self and others; a feeling of sublime peace within, even as storms rage around and sometimes within us; and a knowing that no matter what, we are safe, we are ok, and we are loved.
Talk therapy provides the space to get here.